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Falling – David Archuleta

February 4, 2010
by

I’m in office now. Cannot work. Cannot think. Feeling stressed from all sides. Don’t know how to get out of this maze of unsurity, pressure and fazed understanding of stuff.
Unsurity about my life. Some weeks ago, I was so sure about the life that I will see in future. Now, with loads of additions and subtractions from here and there, I feel I’ve come back to square one … the place where I started.
Pressure about expectations. I am surrounded by many people who are close to me. They have a number of expectations for me. Not going into the details of all, I can tell you that what they really expect from me is to be happy. Ironically each and everyone of them seem to know what will make me happy! I ask myself, is the happiness really for me or for them?
Why do we want somebody else’s happiness when ultimately we are seeking our own happiness on their faces?
I do understand that man is a social animal and being selfless means seeking happiness in the ones closest to us. But why is it that in the process of doing that we actually start expecting more and ultimately make them and ourselves sad?
Life is so confusing!
Understanding of many things are hazy. Seems like Im driving in a path which is filled with smog! I try to go straight. But am unsure. Am I going in the right direction? I was so sure when I started, why am I not sure now? I know that I am not wrong, but why do I still feel that I’m not right either?

With so much going on inside me, I am definitely not in the right mind to be thinking anything right. I keep asking questions to myself. I get no answer. I ask again, and I get a blank again. Why am I feeling this way? Feeling like I’m right and I am wrong. What am I? Do I have a split personality? What is wrong with me?

Somebody once told me, you think too much. Guess, I do. But why shouldn’t I? Asking questions is how you understand things and you move forward in life. So, why shouldn’t we think of answers. After all most of the answers are embedded inside us!! Isn’t it?

I realized that there is a song for this particular situation … Falling by David Archuleta.

Lyrics:

Feels like my life’s been passing by
With happiness just bein’ a lie
How did I get here, where am I going?
One more day without knowing
Struggling for one more breath
As I’m drowning in a painful death
Can someone reach out for me?
In this dark and dreary sea

‘Cause it seems like no one can
Hear the voice that’s calling
Try to take the most I can stand
But I keep falling

I try to chase the memories away
But they haunt me everyday
I hope I get over this phase
‘Cause I’m stuck inside this haze
All I need is a simple lift
Such a sweet and precious gift
So I don’t lose it all before
What I have left is nothing more

In my isolating misery
I feel like the epitome
Of darkness and despair
Just leading onto nowhere
Will I be able to win this race?
I’m runnin’ at a slow pace
Trying hard to press on
But the motivation’s gone

‘Cause it seems like no one can
Hear the voice that’s calling
Try to take the most I can stand
But I keep falling

Oh

I try to chase the memories away
But they haunt me everyday
I hope I get over this phase
‘Cause I’m stuck inside this haze
All I need is a simple lift
Such a sweet and precious gift
So I don’t lose it all before
What I have left is nothing more

It may not have to be this way
Waiting for me they could be a new day
Maybe I can revise
And escape from the lies

I try to chase the memories away
But they haunt me everyday
I hope I get over this phase
‘Cause I’m stuck inside this haze
All I need is a simple lift
Such a sweet and precious gift
So I don’t lose it all before
What I have left is nothing more

There could be something more
To what my life may have in store
I’ll move from where I began
Keep on pressing through to the end

Enjoy!

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